SF Citadel is a friendly and safe place to play. This is because we observe sensible rules. This is a list of SF Citadel house rules. These rules are subject to change at any time. Each guest is responsible for reading and abiding by the rules that are distributed at the play party. Note that sponsored parties may have their own rules.

The basic principle is: be responsible adults. Respect players during scenes, be sensible with your toys and those belonging to others, protect yourself (and others, if necessary), and respect the playing surfaces and the equipment. Our rules are strictly enforced by our dungeon monitors (DMs).

We reserve the right to refuse entrance to anyone or ask anyone to leave if he or she appears intoxicated, potentially harmful to himself or others, ignores dungeon rules, or engages in unsafe, exploitive or non-consensual behavior of any kind.

If you have any questions or concerns about these rules, how they are being observed, or how they are being enforced, speak to a dungeon monitor. SF Citadel DMs wear distinctive, identifying armbands while on duty.

Protect yourself and others

• If you have questions or concerns, speak to the Hosts, Ambassadors, or the Dungeon Monitors (DMs). DMs wear an orange handkerchief tied around their arm. Ambassadors wear a black armband with a red heart on it.
• No audio recording, videotaping, or photography inside. No cell phones beyond the locker area. Please silence your cell phones while they are in your locker.
• Do not engage in any illegal activities in the SF Citadel. No drugs or alcohol inside.
• Use of the word “safeword” is a call for assistance from outside your scene; the DMs & other experienced players will come to your aid when they hear it. Do not misuse or abuse this serious call for help.
• Do not interrupt ongoing scenes. If you have safety or health concerns about a scene in progress, talk to a DM.
• Respect the space. Clean up after your play (the SF Citadel provides alcohol & bleach sprays and paper towels) and help us keep the social area tidy. It is advisable to clean the slings both before and after you play.
• Barrier protection is mandatory for anal sex, vaginal sex, fisting, rimming, and any sort of blood play. It is highly recommended for oral sex, penetrative toys, and any potential exposure to body fluids. The SF Citadel provides condoms, plastic wrap, lube, and gloves.
• Water only (no food or other drink) in the downstairs play spaces.
• Do not touch another person or their property without their permission.
• NO MEANS NO! Aggressive cruising will not be tolerated. If you feel someone is bothering you and doesn’t respect your wishes, let the DM or hosts know ASAP.
• Urine, scat, fire, and breath control play are not permitted.
• Get permission from the DM before beginning any singletail whip, takedown, loud, unusual, disruptive, or potentially messy play scenes.
• Get permission from the DMs and cover the carpeting before any sort of blood play or wax play. Please cover the carpet under your slings. Bring your own tarps! (Big garbage bags work well.)
• When doing wax play- no unattended flames. This means when you set a candle down, extinguish it. Keep all wax on your tarp (clean off before leaving it).
• Help us keep the noise level down. No conversation in the lower level of the dungeon. Do not loudly crack (“go sonic” with) your singletail.
• No locks are allowed on any cages. Cages must be openable with no keys or any other tools.
• Do not sit or leave your toys on the play equipment. You cannot “reserve” equipment.
• No wanking (masturbating when not in scene)!
• We reserve the right to refuse entrance to anyone or ask anyone to leave.

Additionally, We'd like to provide some basic ettiquette for those who are not familiar with the BDSM Community. While these are not enforced rules as listed about, we strongly recommend heeding this advice to ensure you do not inadvertently offend someone because you didn't know.

We all like to think we are polite, well-mannered people. And while most of us are, there are always a few ill-tempered, rude, and/or obnoxious folk that will ruin a party or event for everyone else. Examples of this behavior are boorishness, obnoxiousness, trying to tell someone else how differently their scene should have been done, etc, or by attempting to "cruise" every person that walks by. The Citadel would like to remind everyone of a few certain rules of etiquette.

• NO MEANS NO! If you ask someone to play and they say No, please do not press the issue further by trying to talk them out of their decision or pressure them further to play. Just politely honor their decision and move on. Try not to take any rejections as a personal attack. The person you just asked to play with may not be feeling well, or has had a rough day at work or is dealing with a personal situation that has nothing to do with you.
• Never walk into a scene or attempt to talk to people in the middle of a scene. This is an excellent way of disrupting their concentration, not to mention having them get very angry with you.
• No drinking or drugs on the premises. Anyone who shows up at a Citadel party obviously intoxicated or under the influence of any recreational drug will not be allowed entrance.
• Drinks (except for water) and food, are not permitted in any area other than the kitchen and dining areas.
• No cameras and/or video equipment are allowed at the Citadel during parties.
• We also ask that out of respect for others that may be scening and/or just talking, any quarrels be taken outside.
• To protect the anonymity of other members of our community, please refrain from "name dropping" or discussing the private affairs of any local or non-local SM organization.
• We also suggest all attendees maintain a high standard of personal cleanliness and appearance.
• Do not engage in any unlawful activity that would discredit The Citadel. This includes the use of drugs, bringing in a firearm, or allowing a minor on the premises.
• Always show respect and understanding of any and all types of play going on at a Citadel party, as well as any personal attitudes and feelings of other Citadel attendees. You may not be comfortable for example with watching a knife play scene or hanging out in the same area with "leatherdykes" or "leathermen," but remember that any of them may have an equal discomfort with you being there.
• Do not touch, pick up or play with anyone's toys or equipment at a Citadel party without having gotten permission first from their owner.

There's an excellent essay on "scene etiquette" on the web site for Black Rose, a Washington DC BDSM group at http://www.br.org/etiquette.html

Thanks to Todd for the wonderful overview of BDSM etiquette.